Twisted Style Obsession

Bless me Father for I have sinned,

I’ve started to enjoy material things.

The old gods lost and the new ones too,

And now i’m turning my back on you.

I don’t want to live in a life full of fear,

where suffering and shame is whispered in my ear. 

I once was afraid of Heaven and Hell,

Now I am afraid of not doing well.

To fill my own dreams, desires and hopes,

Concerns me far more than words from the Pope. 

And yet I still struggle to be proud of myself, 

For so long I have set my own needs on a shelf.

So deeply ingrained is the hate and distrust

In myself that it is boiling into disgust.

To aspire to be of a saintly persuasion

Has left me regretful on every occasion.

My faith in you has left a deep hole in my soul,

But i’m slowly filling it and taking control.

Why separate our bodies from our senses?

The self deprecation and denial is relentless.

I do not see why I cannot be whole,

The pleasures of the body surely heighten the soul.

These Damned earthly pleasures have much more to offer

Than places of worship just filling their coffers.

So when I aim high and reach for the stars,

I know that behind them I will never fall far.

And it is with no help from you that this happens to be,

My successes can only stem from inside me. 

Indeed, those who attend Holy Mass in such a way as they scandalize the faithful, they shall be thrown into Hell. The faithful are encouraged to wear any modest fashion that is befitting for the House of God. They are expected to dress for the solemn and Sacred celebration of the Holy Mass. 

Those who dress improperly, they risk losing their soul. How? They will have to answer to God for each incident where they scandalized one of the faithful. They will also have to answer to God for every incident where they seduced one of the members of the Church because of the way they were dressed. Knowing that “The spirit is willing, but the body is weak,” [Mt. 26:41] appropriate clothing should be worn.

It comes close to enraging me that the belief is the spirit is willing but the body is weak. Can our spirits and bodies not be aligned with one another? Why do we have to feel that the two are separate entities, that we are constantly fighting a battle to rise above the desires of the flesh? Why did God make us with lusts and urges only to command us to deny them? I do not want to be ashamed of my desires and carnal lusts, I resent the fact that earthly desires are made out to be something to test us and test our faith in God. It has taken me a long time to feel comfortable in my own skin and comfortable in my nakedness, and it is a liberating experience, and doesn’t make me any less of a spiritual person. To deny my physical desires is to deny what in part makes me a human being. I am not a spirit trapped in a disgusting needy body, I am a whole being. In my mind to present myself covered before God would be to present myself ashamed of who and what I am.